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For me the harder times were when I had to stand back and let go. What was reassuring to me was to be at her side. And sometimes things would happen, like Judi joining a support group that did allow spouses, and she'd say, well, you don't have to go if you don't want to. And I'd say, well, I want to. Do you want me to go? And she'd think about it and say, "Well, not really. This is something I'd like to do myself." She got radiation five mornings a week. I was willing to go every time, and she said "Well, you don't really need to go and I'd kind of like to just not make a big deal of it." So those were the harder times for me. Working hard to be supportive felt right, and the times when Judi wanted privacy or wanted to just go on with her life as if everything was normal, that was harder to let go and stand back. |
