I think people's first inclination is "let's go visit her, she's in the hospital." I didn't want visitors. I was not feeling well. Your friends understand that if you tell them. Now instead of helping my friends, they needed to help me. When people said "What can I do?" I had to be ready to say I really need you to stop at the grocery store, or do you think you could help with cut the grass, or would you be willing to take my children for a few days. And I needed to get into a mode of accepting help.