Listen
to Bernita share a cancer experience in her own words. (1,104 K
.au file)
Listen
to Bernita share a cancer experience in her own words. (1,104 K
.au file)
Bernita was 34 years old when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She sought medical advice without telling her family or friends. When she found out it was cancer, she told her husband.
This discharge from Bernita's breast frightened her. She never expected cancer. She chose a cancer specialist and had confidence that the doctor knew what to do for her.
Bernita was active in making her treatment choices. She got a second opinion and decided to have a mastectomy. Because her doctor removed all of the cancer which had not spread, Bernita did not have radiation or chemotherapy.
Bernita has been cancer free for more than ten years. However, when she gets a cold or a headache, that old feeling comes back. It never goes away.
Bernita's Introduction: I discovered a discharge
I was 34 years old when I found out that I had breast cancer. What
happened was, I got up at night and when I looked in the mirror I saw
blood on my gown and I started looking up my nose because I thought I
had a nose bleed. And I take high blood pressure pills and I was
thinking, I said, boy, did I take my medicine? I took my gown off, I
got a face cloth and as I wiped the blood off I noticed a bloody
discharge from my right breast. I subscribe to Self Magazine and
there was an article that I had read in there that says if you have
any abnormal bleeding, contact your physician immediately. It could
be a sign of cancer. And that article just came back to me. And the
first thought that I had was, no, oh God no, no, not me, no, no, no.
I didn't want to believe it, but deep down inside I knew that it was
a problem.
Bernita's Introduction: I just could not tell my husband
You know, everything just... nothing was important anymore. I
didn't know who to talk to. I didn't know where to go, so I just went
to my husband and I told him to just hold me, please. And he held me
and I just cried, and finally, I told him what happened and I asked
him not to tell anyone else until I got more results back from the
doctor. I went back to the doctor. He asked me "Did you tell anyone?"
He would not do surgery until I got it off my chest with the family
because we're going to need some kind of support. I told everyone, we
all cried. It was terrible. We cried and then I don't know, it just
changed my whole attitude. All of a sudden I loved everybody. Before,
I'd chop them up. I wasn't feeling sorry for myself, but I just
wanted to just make everybody know that I really loved them.
Bernita's Introduction: It was like a new life
After they got it all, I was really super happy. I really began
just to dig deep and get spiritual, kind of just keyed up myself on
Bible scriptures and key up on the things in my life that would help
me, because I know the Lord. It really helped me get a perspective on
where I want to go in life. And like I said, all of a sudden I loved
everybody. I mean, I really loved them. It was just so important to
just key in on other people's feelings. For some reason when this
happened, I just felt like it was a new life.
Bernita's Introduction: The soul matters more
It's not so much it's the body you have to be concerned about,
it's your soul. If you find that inter-peace within yourself, it
helps. It really does. And regardless of what other people do or say,
it's in the relationship that you have with the Lord, because it's
his strength that we operate off of and that's what we're going to
have to do. Like I said, I felt sorry for myself for a while. I tried
to, but the Lord wouldn't let me and I thank Him for that, because I
have things to do.
Bernita's Introduction: Family communication helped
My husband, like I said, is a strong part in helping to heal.
Being kind, being loving, being who he is. At first I couldn't look
my husband in the face. He would ask me a question, I would look
everywhere but at him and he just continued to tell me how much he
loved me and I just felt that he really did. I told my children. I
sat down and tried to explain as much as I could to them. They knew I
was in the hospital. They knew I had surgery, but I sent them around
and tried to explain to them as much as I can about what really
happened.
Bernita's Introduction: I want my daughter to know
It's been ten years and I don't hide it. My concern is my
daughter. I don't want her to go through this. But in 1949, my
grandmother had her breast removed, but she never told us. And I want
to live my life in a way that if this happens to my daughter, she can
know that she can on with a normal life, that you could have your
breast removed and still be a person.
Bernita's Introduction: What I tell my children
My children now are, the older two are 24 and 21, and I have 15
year-old, soon to be 16. My daughter just turned 14. I just thank the
Lord that I'm around to help them out. I want them to know that I'm
here. And the boys, if the run into this problem with their wives,
hang in there with them. That's just one part of your body that's not
there, but just love the person for who the person is. Also, I became
a grandmother and I told my son I said, you let Ebony know (his
girlfriend). I said you let her know that I had breast cancer. And I
said you're going to have to watch out this with your daughter. Look
out for things. Stay checked, get checked, be on top of things. Just
know that things will be all right if something comes up. Just think
of good old Mom, I'm hanging in here.
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Bernita's Diagnosis: I was panicky
But he said he wanted me to make an appointment to see him in his
office the next day. He said, "Well well, now, Bernita, I want you to
calm down. I want you to calm down." And he went on to explain the
percentages of what this could be or could not be. I was all panicky
all night. From then on I was just pacing, just like an animal in a
cage. Everything just started popping up in my mind.
Bernita's Diagnosis: I never thought it was cancer
I got to the doctor's office and he said he couldn't tell me
anything right then, but was going to have to take a sample and send
it to the lab. He made an appointment for me to go to the hospital so
there could be a biopsy. I went to the hospital, and it was an
out-patient thing. He assured me it could be because I told him I
couldn't be away from home. I had to do this quick and very
secretive. So he said, well, come the night before. And that morning
I went into surgery with the biopsy, I come back out of surgery the
same day and I was anxious to go home, got dressed and everything.
And the nurse said, well Bernita, the doctor wants to see you before
he leaves. I said, well, I've had surgery. It's time to go... I
checked my breast also and I noticed that he had like a tube in it
that was draining into a gauze pad. I had never thought that it was
cancerous. I don't know why, but I just didn't.
Bernita's Diagnosis: The doctor told me
He finally got to me and he said, "Well Bernita, your biopsy was
of suspicious nature. It is malignant." And I said, "Who?" I said,
"me?" And he said yes. And at that time I just got weak. I could not
believe it. I sat back down on the bed. He said "We're going to send
samples of everything off to the pathologist and check and make sure
of what we're dealing with." So he says "Well you can't go home today
because you're not holding anything in your stomach." Later on that
evening I was a little better. I still couldn't hold anything on my
stomach. I threw up everything. And he came back and talked to me
again.
Bernita's Diagnosis: Get someone who knows cancer
It's very important, I feel, that if you're going to get checked
for breast cancer that you go to someone that is familiar with
cancer. A general practitioner is one thing. He can probably diagnose
and say you need to go to a doctor, but you need to go to someone who
is familiar in that field. Everybody can bake a cake, but the bakery
knows a little something that you don't know. It's important that you
get the right person to handle you. And I felt because I was in good
hands that's what helped me, because the doctor knew what he was
doing.
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Bernita's Treatment: I got a second opinion
Before I wanted surgery I did want a second opinion. So I did go
to get the second opinion. Here I was whopping and hollering in this
office about my breast having to be removed. He said "Well, Bernita,
did the doctors take an x-ray?" I said an "x-ray?" And I said "no,
why?" He said because if not chest x-ray, maybe cancer spread and no
need to remove breast because it would be a cosmetic surgery and not
a cure. Well then what we need to know is have the cancer spread to
your lung. I got to the x-ray and they kept asking questions and
everything was yes, no, I was getting snappy. I had my x-ray. They
called back and said it had not spread to my lungs. Then I started to
cry again.
Bernita's Treatment: Everything looked good, but...
The surgery went on and I stayed in the hospital about four days.
And so the doctor had come to me and let me know that they were
running further tests, and he says we cannot tell right now if
everything has been gotten. But nevertheless, everything looks good.
Right now it's all up to the pathologist.
Bernita's Treatment: Finally, I was told for sure
I hung around the hospital for three or four days. You're still
icky because you don't know what the results are. Finally, they did
come and tell me that they had got it all. Because I caught it soon
enough to have something done soon enough, they were able to get it
all. They checked everything. They got everything.
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Bernita's Recovery: I tried to find service
I was trying to check around, trying to find out where I could
find services to help my condition. They did send someone to talk to
me in the hospital, but they sent an old lady. She was nice, but it
didn't hit the spot - and I feel that if you're going to send someone
to help, send someone about the same age so that you can relate to.
The doctor's wife called me one day and she said there's a place over
in Battle Creek and I could go there and get fitted for a prosthesis.
I went there, got measured and everything. After I went to that, my
confidence kind of built up a little more.
Bernita's Recovery: I was given exercises
I did get "the ball" for the therapy also. The doctor said to get
to the wall and to stretch up the wall to help loosen up the skin
that was really tight. I also had staples all across my stitches,
eventually. The doctor did such an excellent job. Right now it's just
a nice fine line.
Bernita's Recovery: I didn't go to support groups
Now I do remember talking with some other people concerning having
breast cancer, and we all shared our thoughts but I didn't go to any
support groups because I just felt that after a while I handled it
pretty good. I didn't try to jump off a cliff or anything like that.
There were days I felt sorry for myself and I wanted to cry and I
just tried to just make myself pitiful, but the Lord told me I was
better than that.
Bernita's Recovery: My feelings have changed
See, this is something I've never been through before. To me it
was an invasion, it was an intrusion, and cancer had no right to do
this to me. And I could think of a million and one other people that
it could have happened to instead of me. But on down the road, I
thank the Lord that it happened to me because I felt that as I start
to get used to this, I could handle it probably much better than some
people that I've known, that couldn't handle it. I wouldn't recommend
this to happen to my worst enemy. I just wouldn't.
Bernita's Recovery: It never goes away
It just never goes away. It's there and it's something that you
have to deal with. I go back twice a year to get checked for my
mammogram, twice a year for the rest of my life. That's what the
doctor recommended. I was told that after five years, if you could
stay cancer free, you're good for life. Well, after five years, I
heard on the TV again they moved it up to ten, okay. So its ten for
me now. Every time I get a cold, a headache, or get sick I always
think its cancer. I can't help it. That's the way I am.
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