Be honest

Tell the truth about how you're feeling. If your symptoms are worse or a new one has come up, don't try to be a "good patient" by downplaying your concerns. Come out and say what's on your mind. That's how the people taking care of you will get the information that they need to help you.

And be careful how you answer questions like "How are you today?" While that sometimes means nothing more than "hello," you should treat it as a medical question when it comes from your healthcare team. The answer you give should address your medical condition.

Know your own priorities

When members of your health care team talk to you, they'll have a set of issues they want to cover. That's part of their job. But you ought to have a plan for these conversations too, so think in advance about what your concerns are and make a list. That way, any items on your list that the doctor or nurse doesn't bring up can still get dealt with.

And don't be afraid not to know something. Feel free to plan a conversation with a member of your health team just to ask questions about things you don't understand.

Be assertive

It's not always easy to get answers to your questions or to make sure you've understood what you've heard. At times you may feel action is needed to address a specific concern...but nothing happens. That's when it's time to become more assertive.

If you're worried that assertiveness will make your health team think less of you, remember that being assertive doesn't have to mean being unpleasant. It does mean being persistent, asking questions over again until you get a complete answer. That's especially true when dealing with the issue of pain: pain needs attention, and if you feel that it's not being adequately addressed, it's important for you to say so.

Repeat back in your own words

One good way to make sure you've understood what you've been told is to repeat it back in your own words. You can begin by saying, "Do you mean..." or "So what you're saying is..." If the health professional you're talking with agrees that your interpretation matches what he or she said, you'll know that you've avoided any misunderstanding. And if it doesn't match up, you've got a chance to correct misinterpretations right on the spot.

Take notes

Relying on your memory of a conversation with a health team member can lead to problems. You can be left in the dark if a piece is forgotten or a word is misremembered. But if you take notes, you'll have a record of the conversation that you can refer to. You can use it to remind yourself where your medical situation stands and what actions you may need to take; and it will help you come up with questions you might need to ask on your next visit.

Another good way to get a record of a conversation is to use a small tape recorder. That's becoming more common and doctors are getting more comfortable with them than they once were. Using a tape recorder means that you'll know exactly what was said and be able to avoid any confusion.