Even though I'm 45 I suspected that I was peri-menopausal. I was kind of looking forward to menopause because I thought this is another facet of my life, something that I was looking foward to. And when I went on the Adriamyan and the Cytoxan, one of the side effects is that you go into early menopause. And I didn't think it would happen to me, but it did. And it didn't hit me until I started reading, now that I've gone through menopause I get to worry about heart disease. I get to worry about my hair thinning out. I felt like I had been cheated out of five or six years of hormones. I'm still a functioning women, but I had to mourn. I mourned it because it was done to me. It was not a natural act and it was taken away from me.