Sarah's Mother's Barriers

Wanting to cut back

Dependency vs. addiction

She hid the pain

We all had agendas

She had a best friend

"Let it go"

She had a best friend

She had a best friend, he was a nurse living out in Colorado. They had been best friends for a long time. He had been really supportive of her when she was finding out she did have cancer. I guess they made a pact that when she went in for the surgery he would come and care for her for the rest of her life. The time came. Unfortunately, she had not told us that these were her wishes. It was horrible because she went into surgery and all these people were there and no one knew their role when she came out. She was so heavily medicated she was no longer really with it. She was no longer able to be her own advocate. And all of a sudden it came to the surface after I had been living with her and taking care of her, that really who she wanted caring for her was this friend, who had just come the night before. There were a lot of fights. There was so much confusion. So much conflict. In the end there was so much fighting he left, he went back to Chicago. I don't think my mother ever forgave us for that. In some ways it was a rejection of our love and our caring for her. It was so hard. If I could go back in time, I would have begged him to stay. If I could have done anything I would have given her everything she wanted. She was one of those people who just wouldn't speak up. She didn't say what she wanted. It was up to us to be the big person and say what is going on with this. What does she need?

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